Dreams and Aspirations

I had a dream last night.  Nothing too earth shattering, but important enough to me that I actually remembered it.  I don't remember all the details now.  You know how it is, you think you have it totally memorized and then it gets fuzzier and fuzzier until it's just a feeling rather than a memory.  But I do still have some of it.

It was about a little girl in a riding program that was going cross country schooling.  I'm not sure whose riding program it was or where, but that's not important.  It was a young girl on a little bay pony that was terrified but was going to do it anyway.  The trainer said to go and jump a warm up jump, and the little girl cantered off heading right to a small bank.  The trainer goes running after her.  The little girl's pony stops but the little girl doesn't fall off.  She is upset, however.  The trainer has a few words with her, points her in the direction of a couple of small (elementary) tables, etc., and the girl sets off with a determined look on her face.  She basically does a small course, all by herself, with no further issues.  When she is done, she gets off the pony, cleans up and puts the pony away and then goes back to a trailer.  I find the little girl there crying, talking to another adult.  I interrupt (how rude) and hug the little girl and tell her how proud I am of her, and how I wish I had her determination and pluck.  That I just let the fear of that stop keep me from trying at all, and while she may have had to try more than once, she didn't give up, and didn't blame her pony, and ultimately didn't fail.  Of course, in my dream, it sounded better, and the little girl felt all better and stopped crying, because my words have so much meaning to anyone else, you know.

Not going to go into the whole depth of "this was me and I was talking to myself" crap, because a dream is sometimes just a dream, but it did bring to mind that I have some cross country schooling to do while I have the chance.  I have a bit of fear about it right now, because I had so many falls in a row, but if I ever want to do this eventing thing, I need to get over that, and understand that sometimes, you have to try more than once to get what you want.  Maybe soon we can get back to this:

Because that shit is fun!