The issue is because it is my one and only, everyone expects that I will do the whole deal. You know, formal wedding, in a church (we met at Lutheran Youth Convo and he's a preacher's kid, afterall), all the family in attendance, jetting off to Mom's for a big bridal shower and all the planning and all that stuff.
So totally not me. I've often joked that I simply waited through that first marriage so I can skip right to the second. I kind of did that with a 13 year relationship. We just never got married.
The biggest issue would be my family. This would have been my parents 50th anniversary this year. 35 years in, my dad decided not so much. He was engaged two weeks after the divorce was finalized and married a woman 6 months older than my older brother nine months later. They now have a six year old. The divorce was not amicable, and all the parties have never been in the same room together. They all swear they will behave well. I know that I can't handle that.
So I have been all over the place with plans. Originally, I was thinking November 5 in the mountains. Except that is my BN debut (in a rated show, no less). So maybe the weekend before? Maybe I should switch to having it down in Mt Dora by the barn? Maybe to the barn itself?
Thinking about who to invite goes a little like this: If I invite Mom, I have to invite her sisters and their spouses. If I invite them, I have to invite the cousins and their spouses and kids. But if I invite all of them, then I have to invite all of Dad's side, even those cousins that I don't even really know. Then I have to invite the barn ladies. What about my best friend from college? Next thing I know, this is way bigger than what I want.
Every time either one of my parents asked, the plans had changed. My dad finally told his family that he didn't think there would be a wedding, per se. I would just get married.
When talking to my mother, I said what I wanted was a family wedding, at a family house, like my aunts and my cousin had. Unfortunately, Dad will never be welcomed into Mom's house with his family, so that's a no go. But she did give me an out. I told her I wanted to just go to a courthouse. She said then I should. She would support me no matter what I do, even though it will hurt her feelings.
I guess it's better to hurt everyone's feelings than only certain people. Equal opportunity, right?
So now I'm finally getting on with it.
We have set a date: September 30. That's almost exactly 30 years from when we met, as much as we can remember. We know that first meeting was some time in September 1986.
We are going to the St. Augustine courthouse, as it is the only one around that still does weddings. Duval county decided to do away with courthouse weddings when the law stated they had to marry same sex people. Whatever, St. Augustine is prettier anyway.
I have secured our honeymoon lodgings at the St. George Inn in old town St. Augustine. With complimentary champagne and chocolate and dinner. I believe the boy is taking off Friday and Saturday and closing on Sunday, so we'll have a couple of days.
I have a name for a photographer. I need something to make announcements with.
I have a dress. And a fascinator/hat thingy with a little veil.
I'm researching flowers.
Wedding rings have been ordered.
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| Because they are a little different and will go with the white gold of my solitare. And yes, they match. |
Boys clothes have been ordered.
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| Similar to this with darker khakis, cause it's beachy casual |
We have registered at Target and on Amazon.
Now all we have to do is take a day to go down to the courthouse and get our license. And shoes. And maybe a mani/pedi. And call the photographer. Oh my god, does it never end?
My family still doesn't understand this whole thing, but there has not been a question in my mind since the very beginning. So I'm being selfish and making this whole thing about me and him, not everyone else.
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